Cat Haiku.

Feb. 19th, 2009 12:24 pm
razothredfire: (Default)
[personal profile] razothredfire
You never feed me.
Perhaps I'll sleep on your face.
That will sure show you.

You must scratch me there!
Yes, above my tail!
Behold, elevator butt.

The rule for today:
Touch my tail, I shred your hand.
New rule tomorrow.

In deep sleep hear sound
cat vomit hairball somewhere
will find in morning.

Grace personified.
I leap into the window.
I meant to do that.

Blur of motion, then --
silence, me, a paper bag.
What is so funny?

The mighty hunter
Returns with gifts of plump birds --
your foot just squashed one.

You're always typing.
Well, let's see you ignore my
sitting on your hands.

My small cardboard box.
You cannot see me if I
can just hide my head.

Terrible battle.
I fought for hours. Come and see!
What's a 'term paper?'

Small brave carnivores
Kill pine cones and mosquitoes,
Fear vacuum cleaner

I want to be close
to you. Can I fit my head
inside your armpit?

Wanna go outside.
Oh, crap! Help! I got outside!
Let me back inside!

Oh no! Big One
has been trapped by newspaper!
Cat to the rescue!

Humans are so strange.
Mine lies still in bed, then screams;
My claws are not that sharp.

Cats meow out of angst
"Thumbs! If only we had thumbs!
We could break so much!"

The Big Ones snore now
Every room is dark and cold
Time for "Cup Hockey"
We're almost equals
I purr to show I love you
Want to smell my butt?

Hair hanging, straight, long
One of my favorite things
Female visitors.

I seek new places
Cupboard doors hide secret realms
Meow when I get stuck.

I like to roll dice
From the box, one at a time
I will steal them all.

The food in my bowl
Is old and more to the point
Contains no tuna.

So you want to play.
Will I claw at dancing string?
Your ankle's closer.

Seeking solitude
I am locked in the closet.
For once I need you.

Tiny can, dumped in
Plastic bowl. Presentation,
One star; service: none.

Am I in your way?
You seem to have it backwards:
This pillow's taken.

Your mouth is moving;
Up and down, emitting noise.
I've lost interest.

The dog wags his tail,
Seeking approval. See mine?
Different message.

My brain: walnut-sized.
Yours: largest among primates.
Yet, who leaves for work?

Most problems can be
Ignored. The more difficult
Ones can be slept through.

My affection is
conditional. Don't stand up
It's your lap I love.

Toy mice, dancing yarn
Meowing sounds. I'm convinced:
You're an idiot.

Date: 2009-02-19 06:42 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] memoryofgravy.livejournal.com
Did you write these?

You just made my goddamn day. :3

Date: 2009-02-19 07:10 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] razothredfire.livejournal.com
No, they're from an anonymous listserv for cat fanciers.

X3 Eeeeeee, happy Mem! ::: tackleglomp ::: Raz likes a happy Mem.

Date: 2009-02-19 08:00 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] memoryofgravy.livejournal.com
ahhhhhh *falls over*
Well mem likes a happy Raz too. :3

Date: 2009-02-19 10:27 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] rikaz2.livejournal.com
Mjo! This is amassing.
Makes me wish I wasn't allergic to the furry little bastards. <3

Date: 2009-02-19 11:09 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ravenofroses.livejournal.com
nya! ^__^

these are lovelylovely, that they are. hee.

Date: 2009-02-19 11:47 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] gwendolyn1983.livejournal.com
Awwwwww, that was SO CUTE!!! I really enjoyed reading that! :3

Date: 2009-02-20 12:09 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] dea-caelesti.livejournal.com
LOL! Both incredibly funny and incredibly accurate!

Date: 2009-02-20 02:18 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] uranian-poet.livejournal.com
"Behold, elevator butt."

OMG IT'S SO HILARIOUS HOW THEY DO THAT.

Date: 2009-02-20 03:59 am (UTC)
hamatokameko: Hefty Smurf (in Smurfs: The Lost Village) being his adorkable self. (Lordi - Kalma: Smirk)
From: [personal profile] hamatokameko
The rule for today:
Touch my tail, I shred your hand.
New rule tomorrow.

Kiki (my roommate's cat) does that. He went for like two months without biting me, then in the last day he's bit me twice for moving my feet.

He's so rude. XD

Date: 2009-02-20 05:51 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mukanshin.livejournal.com
Bwahahaha Beyond truth. ♥

Date: 2009-02-21 07:33 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] rhae.livejournal.com
::pulls out icon::

I didn't know there were more! XD
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